|before we left for China|
|Gotcha Day 1/7/2013|
It won't be. There is a new normal and God has orchestrated that for me. He obviously has more confidence in me than I have in myself and since He is the one who created me I need to trust that He knows me better than I know myself. So, OK, I'll follow His lead and try to figure all of this out.
|On Erik and Nicki's balcony in Haikou City, Hainan Province|
Just down the street from Elli's orphanage
|You never really know how baths are|
going to go. In Elli's case each
bath must last at least an hour.
|Josh would let her|
play all the time.
So, I have some figuring out to do. The best way to do that, I think, is to allow myself some time, alone, with Him. More than the usual chaotic conversations. I hear His voice pretty well. Tragedy does that to a person; it can if you let it. I let it, I let it big time and it's results were joy in the "mourning" just like He promised.
There's a bit of mourning here, back home. I have had to bury the life that I'd been used to. The life that had allowed me some bit of the selfishness that I struggle with every day. There is no longer, really, one minute of my waking day that I can claim as mine. There is a little person that lives in my house now that doesn't understand one thing that I say to her - mostly. I can give our dog more freedom than I can give to her. I am in preschool bondage - again.
|Saying goodbye from the only home she's ever known.|
It's not easy, it's not supposed to be.
|She is a little too good on the|
electronics if you ask me
|At the Safari Zoo|
|No one has a better big sister.|
|River cruise cuddling|
|The guy who speaks her language|
This time next year none of us will be the same.
|what will next year bring?|