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| Elli is the cute one in front of the cake looking at the camera with pearls around her neck. |
I am thankful that God put our daughter here, in Haikou City, Hainan, China. I can't explain why He didn't allow all of our friend's children to be raised in orphanages like this one. I am assuming a lot just by the way the pictures look. I could be being fooled right now but I don't think so. I cannot wait to meet her and to hold her and to welcome her into our family. I think she's excited about a forever family. But to look at her, she may just be a happy-go-lucky kind of gal and be happy about life in general. That's ok with me. We would love a little "happy-go-lucky" around here. Especially from a little girl who was abandoned at 6 days old.
She's old enough to have stories to tell. I want to hear them even though I am afraid to in a way. I don't want to hear the scary stories that I have heard from other parents. I don't want to know that she's seen things she shouldn't have, she's heard things that have frightened her, that she's had bad dreams of things that she's imagined. She very well could tell me those stories. Then again, maybe not. Regardless, I will listen, and hold her and help her put it all in perspective. I cannot promise that she will never again have those feelings, or those dreams, or see things that she'd be better off not seeing. I will reassure her that regardless of all of it, past, present or future, that she will never have to feel or be alone - again - EVER. I cannot wait until the day that she completely processes that truth and allows it to sink into her tiny little body. I want to see her whole self melt into the reality that life for her will never be the same; in a very good way.
She will still have days to play dress up, she will still have days for celebrations with cake and parties with friends but it will be in a totally different context. At the end of the day she will lie down in her own bed that is covered in her own pillows and snuggle with her own stuffed animals, dolls, or big sister. She will close her eyes knowing that in each and every other bedroom in her own house is sleeping her own mama, her own baba (daddy), and her own ge ge (big brother) and if she is really lucky, her own little puppy will be at the foot of her bed too (although he does prefer his mama).
Oh, pretty girl, we will be there in the blink of an eye. Two and a half more mos and you will have a new name. We will party again!
